Tears of J-O-Y!

JOY. This word just kept permeating my thoughts today. We had the most beautiful sacrament meeting. During Oh Holy Night (oh how I love this song) I felt the spirit so strong. I yearn to sing this song in His presence someday. I can't even wrap my brain around what that would be like. I highlighted the parts that made my eyes water.

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King, Behold your King.
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.

I love the Spirit. I love this gospel. It truly gives me hope. Despite everything, anything we may be going through right now that may cause us to hang our head in sorrow, let us do whatever it takes to return to Him and our Father and live with hope. Let us share this joy and hope with the whole world. Are Darrin and I old enough to go on a mission yet?

I tend to get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect this time of year and, like most people I'm sure, lose sight of the Savior. I love my Savior. I praise His name. And you, as my brothers and sisters, I love as well. I have hope of living in peace someday and I get choked up thinking about it. What a glorious time that will be.

Merry Christmas!

So validating.

My friend Crystal sent me this forward and it made me feel like I wasn't crazy. There's a reason I stayed up until 2:00 watching Intervention last night. I just needed an hour or two to zone. Although I wouldn't trade this mothering thing for a single thing in this world, it surely is all-consuming and bags-under-the-eyes-producing. It's hard to put into words all that it entails, but this lady, Carolyn, I would like to hug for doing just that.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

"When I go like this, GgGgGgGgGrrggr" (gurgling noise with her throat)..."it feels like I'm eating eggs." Said Malia to Darrin when he got home today. What the? I'll never eat an egg again without trying to notice if it makes my mouth feel like "GgGgGgGrrrrgr".

And Tessa is totally cuting it up with all of her new-found wordage. This morning I stubbed my toe and yelled out "owwww!!" (that's all, I promise!! There was no #%(#%*#$ going on I swear, I mean I don't swear, I mean, yeah.)... from the other room I hear "you okay mama?" at first I thought it was Malia...not so, it was my sweet little Tess making sure her Mama was okay. aaawwww...

And her "tank ew, Mama" whenever I give her something just about makes my heart melt like a big ol' scentsy burner doing its thing.

Loving these girls.

Coolest human ever.

Sorry, but UTUBE is too awesome not to share sometimes.

Coolest manatee ever.

Once when I was young and crazy my friends and I lived in Hawaii for a summer. At one point we were visiting Kauai. We had just backpacked along the Na Pali Coast and were sleeping in a cave along the ocean. All night we heard what sounded like manatees making some sort of mating calls-- or so Thurop explained them to be. He further went on to to relay that they were calling for me. (How he understood their calls I'll never know, must come with being an adventurer). He went so far as to photoshop what looked to be some sort of engagement picture of me and a manatee when we got home. I wish I could find it. Anyways, so for me and those six of us in that cave, this is especially funny. And for everyone else, it's pretty cool. You'll have to pause my music to be able to fully take in the Michael Jackson goodness of it all.

P.S. Natasha, what does that say in the beginning? My Russian stinks.

Training them well.

This is why you have kids right?

Hopefully they'll always think doing the dishes is fun.

The original ladybugs...

Malia's first little friend, Adalyn came to visit this week from out of state. You can see they were the original ladybugs in the year of 2006. Weren't they cute? Too bad my camera was really less effective at capturing their cuteness.

Oh, and now you can see how much we've talked to our 4-year-old about politics. Today, I overheard Malia's friend, Saige, asking her if she knew who our new president was going to be. "no, who?" was Malia's response..."Barack Obama" said Saige, followed by an immediate giggle by Malia and ..."that's funny his name has bum in it." I laughed for a good 10 minutes. Maybe you had to be there.

Now that it's well into November, I think I'll bring out the ol' Halloween pics...

Yes, this is the second year Malia has been Snow White. She requested it again and I was not about to deny something that would save me A) money and B) time. And Tessa looked cute as ever in her hand-me-down ladybug costume from her cousin, Kate (which Malia wore just 2 years ago). Could I BE anymore lazy and cheap??? Don't answer that.

The top picture is Malia pedaling her little sister around in the backyard of her preschool... (excuse the blurry fingerprint on the lens, as you can see, I'm great at keeping fingerprints off of things in my life).

So, trunk-or-treat at the waaarrd the night before Halloween and the real knock-on-total-stranger's-doors the night of Halloween brought in a whole lot of blood-sugar-crashing loot. Malia didn't want to go in until "we filled up Tessa's bag more" because Tessa hadn't wanted to trunk-or-treat the night before. How very noble of her. And, now, I perform my noble deed of eating all of that candy to save their little bodies from going into diabetic comas. Have you done your good deed today?

I love coming home to these people.

Tessa made sure to introduce the pumpkins to Dora and Boots.

Please ignore the ghetto toddler bike that I didn't even think to move. Oh, and pay no attention to the 50 bazillion handprints on my front door. Thanks.

I am a mystery shopper. I shop mysteriously. Last Friday night I took Tessa and tried to look inconspicuous as I inspected the floors and noted the presence of eye contact from my cashier at the local Smiths. I then remembered two more stores that I needed to 'get my coupon on' on the way home. The night got dark and I thought how bad I felt that I had just spent my Friday night away from half of my family. So, pulling into my spot my heart just about skipped a beat when I saw that there had been some great daddy-daughter bonding going on while I was away. Look at those cute pumpkins!! Malia was so excited to surprise me. Oh, and the green sticker on Tessa was from the cashier who did a great job of dishing out the eye contact...along with the stickers.

Park City Get Outta Town

Thanks KB Toys ala Park City Outlets for bringing a little Dora into what we thought would be a Dora-free weekend. Tessa sure loves "Doda and Boots". This is the girl whose latest favorite thing to say is "too hot"--go ahead, offer her a piece of celery right from the fridge next time you see her, I'll betcha a buck she says "too hot". Funny, funny Tessa.

Who needs anything else when there's a pool??? Malia feels pretty confident after her recent graduation from swim lessons in August.

May their self esteem never be less than at this moment in time.

In summary, Park City made this little family very happy last weekend. The end.

Tessa's happy place as well...

Guess who dropped her kids off at the porcelain pool? Tessa has been envying Malia's toileting abilities for quite some time now.

She has told me after the fact before, but this time she told me "poop" and I took her diaper off and there was nothing there yet! I knew we were on to something good and I was right! Sing with me now...Yay Tessa she's our girl she's the best pooper in the whole wide world!

I promise not to show this blog post to any future boyfriends, Tessa, if you'll promise to keep making potty training so easy for your mama-- deal?

My new happy place

--BEFORE--
TA-DA

I can't believe what a little color on the wall can do for a bathroom. The pictures on the wall were supposed to be bubbles, but turned out looking more like rocks. We call them our rock bubbles and it works. It just needs a few nick nacks and I think I'll be able to say yeah, it's done. Now, my family room downstairs...Christy...help! First off, Darrin's drums take up 84% of the room (approximately) and then we've got the toys, too too many toys, and the futon, and the craft table, and the computer desk, and the filing cabinet, and the bookcases, I could go on, and I could post a picture, but let's face it, it's not my happy place right now, we'll stick to happy places, yes. happy.

The Great Salt Lake!!

Saturday was announced as being a free day at all State Parks. It was a perfect day out at the Great Salt Lake. Once you get used to the initial sulfur smell and walk the good mile from the picnic/parking area to the shore (due to the water being so low) it was practically a day in California. Malia was proud of the 'T 'she wrote in the sand and Tessa was loving throwing rocks and sand just like her big sis. It was so quiet out there and nice to get away from the city a little bit.

That night I got to go to the Dinner/Relief Society Broadcast with my mom. It was so nice to just be with her. I love that she loves my kids and all, but sometimes I just need to be able lay my head on my mom's shoulder myself and be her little girl again. President Uchtdorf's talk was so so so what I needed. It fed my spirit and I came away remembering that I really was created from a Creator and that, as His child, I have inherited creative capacities. He defined creation as "bringing into existence something that did not exist before: colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter." I love that. I have always been so self conscious that I wasn't as creative as I would like to be. But, what I heard and felt the Lord was telling me was that anything I can do, however insignificant it may seem to myself, if it is bringing into existence something that did not exist before, then I am fulfilling the purpose of my existence. I could go on and on. I just felt so filled.

Today was our ward's primary program. Malia did so great. She was so excited for this day. I just love when the Primary does their program every year, I've always gained so much listening to these little spirits share their testimonies through song and their sweet little-voiced words. This year being up there trying to keep it flowing was a little more stressful. I didn't get to sit and ponder how I can become more like those little children, but I hope those sitting in the audience experienced that...then all the weeks of work will have been worth it.

So, yeah here's to another week. Let's hope it rocks!

A story about gum...

“I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty
good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.” -Mitch Hedberg

Most things in this world relating to bubble gum are kind of thought of as frivolous or juvenile, such as "bubble gum" pop music or bubble gum flavored ice cream (who invented this??? GROSS!!). This week, however, my kids taught me a profound lesson, which happened to involve a half a stick of Care Free.

I was traversing through a store that I would rather not be traversing through :coughwalmartcough: and I was trying my best to get out of there. I kept remembering things I forgot at various places in the store. Tessa noticed grapes and bananas in her line of vision (favorite fruits ever) and she wanted them in her mouth right THEN "nana, gape, nana, gape!!!!" I was desperate to give her something to get us through the few items I had left to find, something that would get her mind off said nanas and gapes, I looked in my purse---GUM! Yeah! Lifesaver! (DISCLAIMER: my 20-month old chews gum. It all started when she saw Darrin chewing some and he gave her a piece and there was no turning back, she was hooked. She somehow understands that you don't swallow it and never has. If she ever did I would stop giving it to her because I once read an article that this could happen with the swallowing of bubblegum).

Anyways, so I gave them each half a piece (because too much aspartame is the devil)...but as I'm searching high and low for the darn foam hand sanitizer I had a coupon for, Malia sneaks another piece of gum. "Did you take another piece of gum?" I ask. She, with a guilty expression, nods her head no as I see gum and spit frothing out of her mouth. "Sorry, Malia, give me the gum, you decided to not tell the truth so now you don't get any." (I know, I'm so mean!!).

So, now instead of Tessa's original "gape, nana, gape, nana!" I get to listen to Malia cry for GUM. SO FUN!! Well, I was back in the produce section because the price of the apples had caught my attention and I purposely (kind of) left Malia and Tessa far enough that I could get a break from listening to Malia cry about the gum and I could regain my composure before I came back to pushing them. What took my breath away was when I looked up from getting those apples to see Tessa responding to her sister's sadness. She had taken her gum out of her mouth and was giving it to Malia. And then, instead of just stuffing it into her own mouth, Malia broke that gum in half and gave half of it back to her sister. It was a beautiful sweet moment in a place I don't usually experience beautiful sweet moments. Thank you my girls for giving me that little lesson on selflessness and empathy.

**I should add, so you don't think my girls are perfect and that I live in a state of gum-sharing bliss, that these same girls are behind me right now pulling at both ends of a poor stuffed cat crying "mine, mine, mine" Oh well, it ebbs and flows. Gotta enjoy the beautiful and sweet while it's there.

Four years ago today...I met my first born child.

My sweet Malia,

I'll never ever forget the day they laid you on my tummy. I felt your very presence was permeated with heaven's markings. You have taught me oh so much about love, about patience, about myself, about your dad, about the importance of staying teachable, about the fact that indeed there is a God. You have such a strong spirit, sometimes it gets us in trouble because mommy forgets and goes against the grain. I'm pretty sure you've figured it out... your mom's far from perfect. But, I love the times you let us start over; once again teaching me about forgiveness and how to pick up the pieces and try harder the next day. I thank Heavenly Father everyday for giving your father and I the chance to raise you.

Last night you got very nostalgic on me (which is strange because for weeks now you've been lamenting that you were the last of your friends to turn 4). But you, with big alligator tears in your eyes, cried that you were scared of turning 4, scared that 4 is closer to being a mommy yourself, meaning you wouldn't live with us anymore and that was scarry for your little heart. I just want you to know that anytime you feel that way (and trust me, when you get mommy's age birthdays only get more and more hard) you can know that families are forever and if we stay close to the Lord we don't have to live in fear. You are such a bright light in this world, Malia. May you always know how much you are loved. Happy Birthday!!

Love,

Mommy 6 months old
1 year old
Today, 4 years old.

She invited two of her best little girlfriends, Emma and Saige, to go swimming at my cousin Jen's house in Farmington. We soaked up some of the year's last rays and the girls had fun. We finished it off with some slushies from Sonic during happy hour--yeah for half off!

Meet "Beff"

Pronounced by people who can speak correctly, Jeff. Do you think it's just puppy love or should I be worried? I got to watch this little guy along with his brother and sister this week. Thanks Laura and Brian for letting me experience some boyness. I've never had a tuna can actually thrown across my living room. :) Don't worry, Laura, nothing and no one was injured, but I was like, did he just THROW a tuna can? The boys got some good sporting potential I do believe.

Oh, and on a side note, I get to go celebrate the birthday of the first of my high school friends to turn 30 this week. Happy birthday Jill! We'll all be joining you soon. It's crazy how in high school we were all so jealous that she got her license first. I'll let her go first this year, yikes!

The first day of preschool pose!!

Malia was calling me to get out to the car...when does THAT happen? Needless to say, the girl was excited!
I know it's not kindergarten, but I got a little misty eyed. Where does the time go? My little girl is turning 4 in a few weeks!!

When I asked her what they learned today she said "we learned how to be quiet". Hmmm, well, maybe in the next class they'll get to the real meat of the learning... I hope. Tessa missed Malia, she kept saying "ee-a go? ee-a go?"

And I, well, I got some shopping done with only one child in tow and it was really kinda relaxing. :)

Saturday afternoon zen.

My friend Lisa (who was visiting all the way from Boston) came up the Friday before last and made sushi with me...of course I couldn't find my camera to take pictures of our dually-made sushi, so the pics are of just mine I made the next day. (Lisa's were way prettier, so it's a shame you couldn't see hers).

But there's something about it. Malia was playing at a friend's house, Tessa was taking a nap. Darrin....well, he was probably taking a nap too. And it was...silent (weird around here). And I felt...content....and fulfilled and my mind was able to be still (also rare).....And then Malia came in and Tessa and Darrin woke up and I'm sure the t.v. came on and there was running around and laughing... and I was.... happy once again to have their noise surrounding me. I wouldn't always want it that quiet, but 30 minutes on a Saturday afternoon making sushi is just enough to get me through another week or two. Thank you Japan.

5 years!!

Happy Anniversary to my man!! Part of me can't believe it's been 5 years, another part finds it hard to remember life without my Dar.

If you looked up the word 'patience' in the dictionary there would be a picture of the man to the left here. (Whereas if you looked up 'frazzled mess' you would see a picture of me)...so I guess we just complete each other.

But, I just wanted to take this chance to tellim I luvim.

Here's to like 400-infinity more anniversaries sweetie.

Tag #2--Tessa Lu.

My friend and former companionara on my mission, Crystal, tagged Tessa forever ago. So, here are 10 things you may or not know about my Tessa:

1. She likes to point at my tomatoes and call them "apples". Kay, that sounded weird, my tomato plants.

2. She had RSV when she was 10 days old and we drove up to Wyoming to get out of the smog infested valley that was surrounding us. I sat in the bathroom all night at that motel trying to get her to wake up and eat. She could barely breathe. It was a scary time and is weird to think about now.

3. She has this funny way of playing with her sister where, if Malia has something she wants, she will go find something to trade for it. She's already learned the life lesson that nothing is free in this world.

4. She really likes cheese.

5. She loves to imitate her big sister. The other day at church Malia was walking down the hall feeling the bricks as she walked along, as soon as Tessa saw what Malia was doing she moved over to the wall and started doing the same thing. I wish I could bottle those moments up (or at least have a video camera going)-- they're so precious.

6. Kay, now I'm going to reveal what a great and watchful mom I am, but in the last few days I have found Tessa's face covered in soap, lipstick, and marker--twice. She's obsessed with slathering her face with various substances. The stuff really never ends up anywhere else (knock on wood) she just loves to be a little makeup artist I guess.

7. Tessa's newest cute thing she says is "bless you mommy" or "bless you daddy" when we sneeze.

8. She loves to pray. She's usually the first one to fold her arms at meals and mimics the last word in every sentence through the prayer.

9. She has loved nursery so far. Malia took a good year to really feel comfortable being left. Tessa had a little bit of a hard time the first few weeks, but loves it now. Her teachers say she gets into the singing and actions the most out of all the kids in the class.

10. Well, shoot, I was just getting on a roll, it's fun to talk about your kids. But I'll finish by saying that Tessa is oh so snugly. Sometimes she'll just go up to Darrin or I, lay down on our shoulders and just let us hold her.

We love you Tessie Wessie!!

So, Tessa tags Connor, Kennedy, and Jefferson if their mommies want. :)

Dog Lake with my hubby...

Last Friday Darrin and I embarked on a much needed hike. The whole hike I was commenting on how much I missed this. Hello, we have free babysitters at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, why are we not out here like every second??? Oh yeah, schedules and all that. But we definitely are going to make more of an effort to get up there. There was a pretty rough part (for the lack of shape Darrin and I are in) towards the end of the hike. We took turns pushing each other up the hill. I know, pretty pathetic. But I was thinking how symbolic it was of marriage. I'll push you, you push me. Together we'll get there. Tired...yes, ornery....maybe, together...definitely. And let's try to enjoy the beauty along the way. OH THE BEAUTY!!! Along with looking into my children's eyes, nature leaves me asking the question how could one not believe in a Supreme Creator???


There was an article in the Mormon Times today that really put into words what I have been feeling lately. http://mormontimes.com/ME_blogs.php?id=1696 I was just put in as the 1st counselor in primary, as well as a more strenuous position of supervisor in my medical transcriptioning, and you know, being a mommy isn't exactly a lay down and rest position....so, needless to say I've been busy and seeming to get busier by the minute. But, through all this I have to say I feel more happy. Here's the ending of the article that pretty much sums up how I feel ...

Most people, Henri Nouwen wrote, are simply looking for ways to keep themselves entertained until they die. Entertainment, like so much else today, is just another form of stimulation. It will eventually leave you flat. Enlightened service, however, perks you up.You'll find that "peace like a river" the spirituals talk about -- a river that is flowing, powerful, dynamic, tranquil and deep. And when you find the latter, you wonder what you ever saw in the former.

Now, for reals, I know people that give a whole lot more service than me. Like the counselor I am serving with who's husband is the bishop and she has morning sickness while carrying her 5th child, or the woman I visit teach who is raising two disabled children as a single mother. My plate is nowhere near as full. But, I am thankful for all of the opportunities the Lord is giving me to "push a little harder" up my personal mountain. I truly do feel exhilerated.