The other day I picked up and started reading one of my most favorite books of all time, Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. It took my mind to where it needed to go.
The book is a compilation of thoughts the author had while living for two weeks on an island, away from everything and everyone she knew. She compares the characteristics of different shells to the state of our lives. And what I have fully gulped up thirstily from reading this again is my need for solitude. No, I'm not talking of leaving my family and going to a deserted island, but in taking an hour every day and centering myself. For some reason I have run from this for a few years now.
Busyness. Chatter. Work. No time. Running and running in every direction from thing to thing. Distracting myself with trying to find how other people find their center... coughblogs/facebooekcough. Never reaching for my center. Don't get me wrong. I pray. But I'm so distracted that I often don't even know what to pray for. All I can get out sometimes is a desperate "help!!"
My family is a wheel. I picture myself (and Darrin) as the axle. I say Darrin and I, but the old adage is as true as they come, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." If I am spinning out of control inside the wheel there is no stability in our lives. I alone need to still the axle.
My sweet family has been gone tonight as I had to work this weekend. I miss them terribly. But, I feel still inside. Bring on the whining. Bring on the needs, the NOISE, the craziness that is the wheel of my family. I am still. I know what I need to pray about tonight and that is all I need.
"Be still and know that I am God."
I am so grateful at this moment in time. Tomorrow I will pencil in an hour. No excuses. It's THAT important.
2 comments:
I love reading your stuff. Good luck finding your solitude! I make all my kids have "rest" time (while Tate is napping) where they just sit and read. I can't manage without it. I hope you find yours! Love to your family! :0)
I like you.
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