Birth day

Well, now that it's been almost 2 years since I last posted something on here, I thought what better day than today to start up again?  36 years ago my eyes opened up and I saw light brighter than just that in the womb.  I breathed air.  I cried.  I touched.  I suckled.  I was nurtured.  My brain started its never ending journey of making neural connections of memories and smells and tastes.  How blessed I feel.

This morning after eating my breakfast in bed (something I whipped up from Tessa's princess cookbook last night...baked french toast), I was showered in love of candy and sweet/salty Costco popcorn, pictures, cutouts, flowers from my Tess, and even a thoughtful plaque from one of my favorite artist's booth at the Quilted Bear.  (Darrin has come so far in knowing what speaks to my heart).  I wonder if anyone has felt such depth of love for their family and for their life.

As my birthday falls on the Sabbath this year I just wanted to take a moment to really acknowledge the love I have for my Father in Heaven.  I am thankful for each and every one of my trials throughout these 36 years.  I truly am, for without them I would not know or appreciate the joy.

To be honest, right this moment I'm not able to think like I would like to.  I would like to be able to sit and write and have thoughts come freely.   My beautiful kids (especially a certain boy who could possibly have the noise and energy level of 5 children) are loud and I have misophonia, which is a real condition which makes sound debilitating to my brain sometimes.  But like my plaque states, EMBRACE THE CHAOS.  I will do my best.  Sometimes I feel defeated a little bit.  The anxiety peaks with so much noise.  Please, Lord, help me to be calm in the storm.   I pray for this and I, again, acknowledge all the blessings that have come on this journey.  I am going to do better about writing.  I will seek to do this when my kids are in bed, even though at that point in the day my brain is usually pretty fried with exhaustion.  Life is busy.  But I will keep truckin'.